It’s been a busy few months since my last update so here’s a cliff’s notes.

November:

My husband was wrapping up his third and final electrical trade school term, which meant that his evenings were full of homework, and mine were full of baby caring to facilitate his studying (because we’re a team, gosh darn it.).

Good news – he passed all his courses with flying colours. This was a big deal for us because it meant he could schedule his Certificate of Qualification exam to be completely licensed. Another giant hurdle to overcome, but we stayed optimistic.

December:

This December didn’t feel real. There were a lot of ukulele practices as the little group I’m involved in thru church was performing some Christmas carols, so that was a blast and a half. Felix Navidad with a Latin strum? Phenomenal.

There was no Christmas tree, no decorations, limited Christmas baking at our home so it felt less than real…but was also really relaxing if I’m being entirely honest. I didn’t have to worry about the little guy pulling down decorations or eating pine needles. Next year I anticipate will be way more Hallmark movie magical.

We were heading down to Punta Cana for a big family vacation with my mum, sister, her husband, my husband, and the baby. We’d been all looking forward to this trip for ages, but also partially not (ish) because it was specifically to commemorate my dad’s passing and was sort of the trip we all knew he wanted us to take together but couldn’t before he got too sick.

Many emotions. Muy complicado.

99% of it was incredible. I can’t say enough about how wonderful so much of it was. I had never been to the Caribbean before and had only been to an all inclusive once before. I feel so incredibly lucky to have received such a generous gift from my mom.

I got way angrier at various points than I thought I would, considering I was in LITERAL PARADISE. Guess you can’t take a vacation from yourself or your patterns. Caregiving and long grief affects a family’s dynamics on a fundamental way, and even though Dad’s been gone for almost five years now, whenever I saw a behaviour that harkened back to the ‘bad days’, I was triggered af (for lack of a better word).

I dealt with it like a grownup, for the most part, and it’s been a good jumping off point for some positive change in my life, which I’m happy about.

Good news – the women all got to practice our Spanish on the fly. We’d been doing Duolingo en Español from scratch since July, and it was so interesting to actually be able to use it in a near immersion environment. Not gonna lie, though, I was relieved when I met a Haitian who spoke French, because even though my French isn’t the best, it’s exponentially better than my Spanish!

January:

We made it home on a Sunday, and husband was set to write his exam that Thursday. Terrible decision when we evaluated his confidence level. We spent all day Monday calling various provincial centres to see if we could reschedule for a later date that wasn’t too, too far into the future. It seemed for a while that the only options were immediately or fourteen weeks away.

Good news – we were successful in rescheduling for the end of the month, he signed up for a tutor and PASSED ON HIS FIRST ATTEMPT! It’s a big deal.

We had a lot of emotions going on in the lead up to that test writing.

We had a death in the family (you know how you have a ‘best friend’ cousin? The one you look the most forward to seeing at famjams, and you text on a weekly basis, and you grew up with and went through all those awkward phases together, and can laugh about all your misadventures together, and know your family lore? Yeah, it was that one for me.). It’s an absolute tragedy – we’re all gutted and there is no good news that goes along with this paragraph.

*breath*

We got the call that we were next in line for the local daycare, and in Ontario, when you get that call, you accept, because the waitlist is long.

I couldn’t believe it, to be honest. Everyone I know has been on a list for at least a year, and I was expecting longer, given how small our town is and that this is potentially the only not for profit, on track to be integrated into the $10 a day provincial program, and has long hours that will accommodate my unpredictable work schedule when I go back in August.

Good news – Little dude absolutely (luckily) adores it. No tears at drop off, eats well, plays well, and is happy but not desperate when I grab him at the end of his day.

February:

The family promptly fell ill, given that we started at a daycare. Both the baby and the husband have been to the urgent care and the ER a couple of times, had antibiotics, and follow up appointments due to some serious issues. I should take out stock in infant Tylenol and Motrin, because the baby is also cutting three teeth simultaneously and those screams are no joke.

Cabin fever abounds and both me and the baby are over it.

Good news – I only have a tiny sore throat left. The little guy only has a little cough. The husband only has remnants of cellulitis in his ankle. (Yeah. When it rains it pours in this house).

Good news – it’s now March. The days are getting longer.

Good news – little guy is almost a year old. I’m finally feeling more like myself.

Good news – it’s time to emerge.